Firstly, I was one of those who dating long distance in high school. Senior year I started dating a guy from my old high school which was an hour away. That proved difficult because my dad had just let me start dating, but he would have never let me see this particular boy I assumed, so I had to sneak down to see him and rush back home so I could make it by curfew. It definitely made some good memories for that summer of '09. Then it got worse, I moved off to college. Three hours away from that same boyfriend of mine. But we both took the reality mind-set about it and new we would try it until it wouldn't work. But somehow we did make it for another year. After that year he made it to college with me, but that December we broke-up, not because of distance, but because the sad truth hit us that we were just two different people. But that's a story all on it's own.
The year I spent trying to make it work I spent $680 in gas driving back and forth from college to his house. Spent an "un-calculatable" amount on food when I stayed with him, and the money to fund our activities we did while I visited. I tried so hard to make that relationship work, about 6 months out of that year I went and sold my plasma for gas money to go see him. I was selling twice a week and spending the rest of those days afterwards sicker than hell. Passing out in elevators and having to lay in the floor in the middle of class. Freshman year was interesting to say the least. While 3 hours isn't the worst long distance relationship it is still stereotypically the same. You'll fight about what each other is doing, or who you are spending too much time with. You'll fight about not talking enough, and fight about wanting to talk too much. It's an inevitability. No matter how much you like the person your environment will change you, if new. You will lack proper physical and emotional intimacy that is a necessity in a serious relationship. No matter how hard you try texting and skyping can't fill that void.
Which brings me to my other long term relationship. I use italics with other because I like that it reminds me of the graphic used in cartoons for something that smells bad. Which fits that relationship perfectly, it was horrible and a complete waste. This person I met during an academic affair in another state. We met, talked, enjoyed each others company and continued to keep in touch even after the event was over. But it turned out he lived 647 miles away from me. We agreed to date via video chat. We would text every now and then, he wasn't much of a chatter, but mostly we would skype every other night from 10pm until about 2am. He wanted to become an official item, and I agreed. Neither one of us could afford to see each other, so we never did, needless to say after about a month we stopped dating. There was cuteness and attraction, no doubt about that, but you can't have a relationship with someone that you never get to see. A relationship causes a person to open up and allow the other person to join them in their life, but we were living completely separate lives.Now skip ahead to present day. I have had my fill of teenaged fun and got the partying out of my system, for the most part. But the urge to date will always be there. There is a guy that I like, who lives and goes to school 460 miles away. We've partied together, and admitted to a mutual interested in one another. But the even the thought of starting a relationship long distance isn't something I even want to pretend to entertain. This guy is sweet, and kind, and our conversations could last forever, but without him near, it wouldn't be a relationship. He would be a romantic pin-pal and that wouldn't be fair to either one of us. As I see it there is a very definite pro/con list to long-distance relationships. This list may only apply to me but I feel like other's could relate:
Pros:
1) You will always have someone to talk to (considering texting and calling is the only form of your relationship).
2) Talking so much with the same person you really get to know them before you begin a closer intimate relationship (maybe).
3) Long distance relationships keep you out of any physically romantic consequences that could happen.
4) You get to focus on school and less on making plans with/for your significant other.
5) When you do finally get to see them, it makes those moments so much more special.
Cons:
1)You will always wonder what the other person is doing, and if they are really doing what they said they were doing ... aka.... trust issues.
2)When you need someone there for you, in a proud moment, or a terribly sad moment they won't be there to hold you, to tell you they are proud. If anything you'll get to read those words.
3) Traveling to see them will break both of your wallets, depending on how far they live of course.
4) You will rarely ever get to see them on significant holidays, or special events that should be spend together which usually causes frustrations
5) and lastly, you will get to watch all of your other friends relationships grow and progress and yours won't until you spend the time actually together.
That keeps the list pretty even, although there are many more tiny details I could list. But I don't think it's really that important. And by no means am I encouraging all those who want the long distance relationship no to try it. In some cases it has, can, and have worked out. Some people can manage the distance, make it work and keep the relationship strong and sparky, if you will. But if you're struggling, you should know your not alone. I am still struggling, to find the right guy, to start my life with someone else. But it will happen when it is suppose, and who knows, it may cause me to relocate, but I'll make sure I get to know them real well first.
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